| Author |
Message |
    
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1842
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 6:28 pm: | 
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No problem, Natalie. When the next one's ready, just email me.
Suzi, yes, have a go.
Robert
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Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 262
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 6:39 pm: |
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Hi guys!!
Off to have a chat with the old muse...glug..glug
Thanks for the encouragement!
Suzi
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Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 263
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 6:48 pm: |
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Natalie|(sorryto be formal!)
Stick your photo on the profile thingy..I don't want to be the only Wendy Craig lookalike!!Suzi |
AP Wolf
Chief Inspector
Username: Apwolf
Post Number: 722
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 3:19 am: |
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I enjoyed Natalie's piece as well, it is nice to sometimes have a counterbalance to Robert's and my own very black humour, and this sat well as such. A commendable and sad ballad of loss and wasted opportunity.
Nice to shed both sorts of tears over here.
Robert gets me howling with laughter, but he does write a nice ballad as well.
Go for it Suzi, we are always kind. |
Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 270
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 4:11 am: |
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From Mary:
Just got in
Close the door
Oh Damn
Nevermind..
Should have thought of that before.
Footsteps beckon me
Out upon the floor
Wait love
I'll dry love
And try it
Once
Before
More lamp light
Damp
Light
A minute
then
I see you
It is you
Pass me
I'm not sure
A smile
For me
Yes
Its just for me
Me
I'm nothing special
Me
Oh what's life for?
I'll come with you
My darling
Lets see what we can do
So warm
and tight
and comfortable
There's nothing I can't do.
Waking
Or dreaming
I can't be sure
You're gone now
I need you..
..Don't forget to
lock the door.
Suzi
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Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1845
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 5:00 am: |
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Very nice, Suzi. You see? You were right to have a go!
Loved the ending.
Now let's have another one. So, to use your favourite word : well???
Robert |
Natalie Severn
Inspector
Username: Severn
Post Number: 211
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 9:04 am: |
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Thanks AP.Nice to have some feedback.I would work on this a bit more if I had time but at the moment have no computer and have got just half an hour in the library.
Congratulations Suzi.I also loved the ending
and the tone was tender and suggested a loss of
self esteem and being blown about hither and thither in life-which might have been how Mary felt.certainly the lack of direction comes through.
Natalie
Suzi |
Natalie Severn
Inspector
Username: Severn
Post Number: 212
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 9:07 am: |
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Thanks AP.Nice to have some feedback.I would work on this a bit more if I had time but at the moment have no computer and have got just half an hour in the library.
Congratulations Suzi.I also loved the ending
and the tone was tender and suggested a loss of
self esteem and being blown about hither and thither in life-which might have been how Mary felt.certainly the lack of direction comes through.
Natalie
Suzi |
Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 272
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 1:09 pm: |
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Robert and Natalie-
Thanks for your exceptionally kind words!!
Well..(Robert!) will consult my muse later!!
Thanks again!
Suzi |
AP Wolf
Chief Inspector
Username: Apwolf
Post Number: 723
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 1:10 pm: |
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Yes, Suzi, liked it very much indeed, especially the lines 'lamp light damp light'.
Your poesie does illustrate nicely how minor things can enormously influence so many people's lives, like forgetting to lock the door.
Back in the days when mobile phones were still rare I once forgot to take my mobile with me, and that simple act changed my life forever...
for the better I'm pleased to report, but nonetheless such simple things can prove catastrophic in nature, as your poesie illustrates. |
Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 275
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 1:27 pm: |
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Cheers A.P ...you're a star!! going to un-cork my muse now..will try to get back later
Thanks again
Cheers
Suzi |
Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 283
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 7:26 pm: |
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Hi A.P.,Natalie and Robert
Think I'm getting a bit depressive here..but continuing on the Mary idea....
Mary 8.00 a.m.
Waking
Or deaming
Not sure
Same as ever
Come on girl
Let's go up the road
Look well about you
Others do
Don't they?
Walking back
Backwards?
not sure
Someone knows me
Do they?
Talking back
'Hello Carrie'
Am I ?
Think I'd better
Just go in
Lie down for a while
Alone
Cold
Light ther fire
Light?
Candle's gone
Think I'll sleep
Someone ..
May ...
just ...
come around.
Suzi |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1859
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 7:42 pm: |
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Hi Suzi
Very nice poem indeed. It reminds me of a departed
Greek in Hades - all shadow and no substance, and a constant yearning to return to the earthly life of the living - only this is how Mary was, whether she was alive or dead.
Another one, please. Well????
Robert |
Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 287
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 7:58 pm: |
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Hi Robert
You're a hero..Greek??
Funnily enough my heart (and most of my body in the summer ) lies in Cephalonia!!
Very Equus me on the quiet
So glad you liked, and understood it
Thanks again
Suzi |
Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 288
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 8:01 pm: |
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WHOOPS!! double vision!!sorry!
Suzi |
Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 289
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 14, 2004 - 8:32 pm: |
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Robert,Natalie and of course A.P
Oh God I'm off on one now!!
Think this should be a song!!
To Maria (Harvey)
Move over here darling
Come sit down by me
You're
Leaving those clothes here?
Well
No one will see
We'll curl up
together
Then go on the spree
And
No one would dare
Find
Such flash company!
Suzi |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1861
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 5:02 am: |
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Well done again, Suzi. I can see we've started something here!
Robert |
Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 292
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 5:25 am: |
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OOOooooooooh dear!
Thanks Robert
I think I've built a monster!!!
Suzi |
AP Wolf
Chief Inspector
Username: Apwolf
Post Number: 729
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 7:39 am: |
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Jack and Uncle Charles visit the Seaside. (2)
At number 51 Clarendon Villas, the Cutbush duo made themselves comfortable in the large enclosed gardens, Jack busy dissecting frogs which he found in the ornamental goldfish pond; and uncle Charles laid at rest in a gaily striped deck-chair firing well-aimed shots from his service pistol at bottles lined up on the wall for him by his kind and thoughtful nephew.
A neighbour from number 52 had briefly popped his head out of a window to voice his concerns about the loud reports and flying glass but a savage salvo of shots from uncle Charles’ pistol soon drove him back.
‘Jack!’ called uncle Charles. ‘Be a good fellow and set me up another line of bottles on the wall there.’
‘Certainly dear uncle!’ cried Jack, and threw the remains of a frog back into the pond where it was quickly devoured by the goldfish, causing Jack to briefly ponder on the bizarre circumstances of life and death, but not for long as he could feel the sights of his dear uncle’s deadly accurate weapon upon him, so instead he quickly set up another row of bottles for that worthy person.
As Jack carefully set the last bottle on the wall there came a sudden report and the bottle in his hand exploded into a thousand shards, cutting his hand, face and neck to shreds and causing him to bleed profusely from said wounds.
‘Sorry Jack!’ called uncle Charles. ‘I mistook you for a Catholic for a moment there.’
‘That’s quite all right sir!’ cried Jack. ‘I did have my back to you, sir.’
Their pleasant little afternoon was eventually interrupted by the arrival of Inspector Race.
‘Sorry to bother you, Charles,’ the good inspector said. ‘But you see, Charles, we need to talk earnestly together for a small problem has arisen.’
‘It’s not the matter of the Catholic minister next door, is it Race? I mean it was only a grazing wound after all?’
‘Oh no, Charles, think no more on that, the dear fellow has quite recovered, and the usual small contribution to church funds has smoothed things along… No, this I’m afraid is something far more serious.’
‘Just let me finish this line of bottles first, Race, there’s a good chap, and then I’ll be all ears,’ Charles replied and then quick as a flash fired a salvo of bullets that each accounted for the remaining bottles on the wall.
‘Splendid shooting!’ screamed Jack from the goldfish pond.
‘Capital stuff, Charles!’ agreed Race. ‘I should certainly want you alongside of me if we were to raid a den of Fenians.’
‘Fenians!’ roared uncle Charles, on his feet and scrabbling about for more ammunition. ‘Where?!’
‘No, no, Charles, I only meant to say if we were to raid a… Well never mind, Charles, please sit down old boy, for I have a need to ask you some questions.’
‘Fire away!’ chortled Uncle Charles, collapsing back into his gay deck-chair.
‘Well, Charles, my fist question is this: Do you see that fellow by the goldfish pond?’
‘Jack, you mean?’ asked Uncle Charles.
‘That’s the very chap, Charles, now, do you recognise him?’
‘Recognise him!’ roared uncle Charles. ‘Of course I bloody well recognise him, you daft halfwit! It’s Jack, my bloody nephew!’
‘But Charles, could you pick him out at a later date and identify him?’
‘What in the devil’s itchy crutch possesses you Race!?’ demanded uncle Charles. ‘Of course I could identify him, he is my own flesh and blood so to speak… are you mad man!?’
‘Well, Charles, I’m afraid it seems that there are very strong suspicions that Jack might well be implicated in a series of very serious criminal offences committed in the Whitechapel area over the past few months…’
‘Pon my word!’ roared uncle Charles in astonishment. ‘Surely you can’t mean this dreadful series of killings and mutilations of these poor unfortunate women? I can assure you sir, that my dear nephew Jack is incapable of any form of violence to any living creature. A sweeter and more gentle soul you couldn’t meet. Why…’
At that exact moment Jack raced past with a wild scream, waving his cut-throat razor about and in hot pursuit of a scavenging seagull that appeared unable to take wing on account of the close confines of the enclosed gardens. Up and down the garden the chase went on, the hapless seagull always eluding Jack by a few inches as it ducked and darted away through the undergrowth from that young man’s intentions.
‘Excuse me a moment, old boy,’ Charles told Race, pulled his service pistol from its holster and with a single shot blew the head off the seagull.
‘Excellent shot!’ cried Inspector Race.
‘Thank you, uncle Charles!’ called Jack as he retrieved the headless seagull and tenderly carried it off for further examination.
‘Right!’ said uncle Charles holstering his pistol. ‘Where were we, Race?’
‘You were mentioning the Whitechapel Murders, sir,’ pointed out Race.
‘Indeed, my dear chap, and I was stressing, Jack is absolutely incapable of harming any living…’
Inspector Race interrupted uncle Charles with a wave of his hands.
‘But Charles, the crimes I speak of are far more heinous and horrific than that of the Whitechapel Murderer. Why my dear fellow, the crimes of which I speak - which it seems your nephew Jack may be involved in - strike at the very heart and fabric of our society!’
‘Pon my word!’ roared uncle Charles. ‘I am agog, sir, and will hear more of this immediately.’
‘And so you shall, my dear Charles!’ exclaimed Inspector Race as he pulled his note book from his pocket. ‘I shall read you this catalogue of dastardly, wicked and inhuman crimes that have been carried out by your nephew these past few months.’
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Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1863
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 7:57 am: |
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Spot on again, AP. I like the way you work everything together - Jack screaming from the goldfish pond, etc - and I loved the bit about Jack being mistaken for a Catholic because his back was turned! And, of course, you leave us on the edge of our seats. Bring on the next instalment!
Robert |
Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 295
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 11:03 am: |
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A.P. Brilliant as ever!! The bit about the Catholic/back turned had me laughing out loud!!..unfortunate 'cos I'm at work at the moment and just grabbing s surreptitious look at the boards!! Whoops!
Cheers
Suzi |
Natalie Severn
Inspector
Username: Severn
Post Number: 218
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 4:11 pm: |
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Dear All what can I say in two mins [all the time Ive got on this machine,Your poems are delightful Suzi do keep on contributing here.AP loved the above episode and will read it properly when I have my own comp. back.
If Stephen wants to judge these poems tomorrow I think I like the one I"ve written on Mary-even though it needs tidying up.I certainly dont expect any thing though but will happily go along with the rest of you if thats what you want,
All the best to everyone
Natalie |
Suzi Hanney
Inspector
Username: Suzi
Post Number: 303
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 4:31 pm: |
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Nat
Thanks so much! think it's worth me rambling on then?? They sort of come out of a drunken 'thinking' inside of how I imagine Mary's head to have been..that sounds cr** but we've all been there (maybe not quite that bad) haven't we!! Your poem was lovely..mine is a bit 'me' I think...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Let me know what you really think!(Mine need editing too!)
All best
Suzi |
Natalie Severn
Inspector
Username: Severn
Post Number: 220
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 5:27 pm: |
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Hi Suzi must make this brief,That is exactly how the poems come across-slightly dreamlike with the visionary look through it all hazily under the surface .Yes and the alcohol-which I have given up.
Nats |
Robert Charles Linford
Assistant Commissioner
Username: Robert
Post Number: 1867
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 15, 2004 - 5:40 pm: |
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Hi all
IMPACT
Jack came and went
Burned and was spent
Shooting star
That fell too far
Scorched mother earth
For giving birth
And did pound
His gash in ground
Sun did blot
Moon did spot
And naught can put back
This dust that is Jack.
Robert |
